Citing irrefutable evidence of "unacceptable ass-patchery", the Riskbreaker Corps of Lea Monde have filed suit against official court tailor Daramar Lamorte, demanding 1.5 million gil in compensation. The group alleges it has been saddled with the faulty garments for years, complaining the pants are both uncomfortable and compromising to their wearers' modesty.

"Do you know how many times I've been at court and some ancient duchess comes up behind me and gives me a pinch on the cheek?" complained Ashley Riot, the spokesperson for the group who is noted for his daring efforts in the mansion of Duke Bardoba. "Not only is it embarrassing, I bruise easily. Think of that- my derriere hanging out for all to see and black and blue to boot? No way, no sir."

Lawyers for the group are confident that the pants will speak for themselves in court. Claiming they possess documents requesting standard, full-assed (or patchless) pants, the group is seeking an immediate injunction against the further production of the offending garments. A court date has been set for April 12th.

Legal representation for the tailor offered no comment, other than to say that the Riskbreakers' suit is "a frivolous abuse of the legal system. Quite obviously, these men felt the ass-patches would enhance their sex appeal and mobility, and all it took was a few lecherous old ladies to change their minds? What kind of dedication to bishounenesque machismo is that? I say that if making people look sexy is a crime, then anything I wear is guilty as charged. That's the attitude they should be taking."

The Riskbreakers are not the only organization affected by the alleged poor worksmanship of Lamorte. Various villains have also come forth, some from the grave, citing complaints of ill-fitting bad-guy pantaloons. With the media already converging upon the expected scene of the trial, these risings from the dead promise to exacerbate a situation already conducive to a circus-like atmosphere. RPGamer will follow these proceedings as coverage continues. For up-to-the-minute trial information, check your local listings for RPGamer Court TV, which will be broadcasting around-the-clock from Lea Monde.